So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
