they need to just BURY HIM!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
