O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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