i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
