What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
sex in a hospital.. check
pray to the hookup gods
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
