we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
