when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
