I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
