whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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