why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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