i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
