Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
