how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Hippo gnu deer
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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