I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
