Soap is not a condiment
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
