hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
