I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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