we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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