Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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