I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
