loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
