I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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