I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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