It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
