Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
