Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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