home. puking in laundry basket.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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