I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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