She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
