Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
