She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
