haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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