So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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