..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
