conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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