Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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