do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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