WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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