I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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