He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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