just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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