we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
