Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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