I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Randomize
