there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
