I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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