She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
