Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
