i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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