Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
