There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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