it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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