id be glad to
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
