I want to make a zoo with you.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
