he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
