How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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