a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
