So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
